In a few weeks he'll be home on R & R. I'm really nervous. Our phone conversations have been a tad on the boring side. I think neither one of us really know what to say. He has been very loving in his emails and phone calls and I'm sorry to report that I'm having a hard time feeling safe enough to return it. I respond but it feels so empty to me. I do still love him and I miss my friend terribly, but I'm afraid that if I allow to start feeling close to him again it just will end up hurting over and over. We'll be going away for a few days just the two of us. I just hope everything goes well....I really do.